40 most funny code comments ever

These are borrowed from
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/184618/what-is-the-best-comment-in-source-code-you-have-ever-encountered and http://www.quora.com/Computer-Programming/What-are-some-of-the-funniest-comments-in-source-code

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up;  //ha ha



//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows 

stop(); // Hammertime!

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will 
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets 
// released into the public.
 

// somedev1 -  6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Login screen
// somedev2 -  5/22/07 Temporary my ass

// drunk, fix later
 

// Magic. Do not touch.
 

#define TRUE FALSE
 

//Happy debugging suckers

// I'm sorry.

return 1; # returns 1

Catch (Exception e) {
 //who cares?
} 

/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me.
 * Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
 * night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.
 */ 
 

try {

} finally { // should never happen 
} 

const int TEN=10; // As if the value of 10 will fluctuate... 
 

//This code sucks, you know it and I know it.  
 

//Move on and call me an idiot later.

double penetration; // ouch, no cumments needed
 

/////////////////////////////////////// this is a well commented line

// I don't know why I need this, but it stops the people being upside-down 

x = -x;
  

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete. 

doRun.run();  // ... "a doo run run".

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file 
At the bottom of the file:

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

// I am not responsible of this code.
 

// They made me write it, against my will.

/* I did this the other way */
 

/* Please work */

// no comments for you
 

// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read



options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

// I have to find a better job

# code below replaces code above - any problems?
# yeah, it doesn't fucking work.



class Act //That's me!!!
{

  ...
}

public boolean isDirty() {
    //Why do you always go out and
    return dirty;
}



Repeat
    ...
Until (JesusChristsReturn) ' Not sure



// Catching exceptions is for communists



// If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know
// who wrote it



//this formula is right, work out the math yourself if you don't believe me



// Comment this later
  

/** Logger */
private Logger logger = Logger.getLogger();



// Remove this if you wanna be fired



# This is becoz you messed with me the other day
if current_admin.name == "#{my_x_employer}"
  sleep(1000 * 3600)
end



# Linux Sex
$ date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep



// Peter wrote this, nobody knows what it does, don't change it!

}catch(Exception ex){

   // Houston, we have a problem

}

// If I from the future read this I’ll back in time and kill myself.

// TODO: I believe the method (and all class in general)
// doesn’t make any sense at all, but I’m sleepy and
// it works fine

// A function that retrieves all females from the database
// for processing and display:
function getGirls() { //if only it were really that simple

float boat;   // must be a float, otherwise it sinks.

// I can’t divide with zero, so I have to divide with something very similar 
result = number / 0.00000000000001.

// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read